But I’m a guy. But my penis started bleeding when I turned 13. Is that my period? And if so, what kind of tampons should I buy? Can I get pregnant? My moms penis bleeds continuously every full moon. Why is my goldfish not eating its animal crackers? WHERES MY POOL? Oh, nevermind. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I just stepped in dog poo. BUT I DONT HAVE A DOG? Oh, I’m in the library. WHOS DOG IS POOPING IN THE GOD DAMN LIBRARY? BRING A POOPY BAG NEXT TIME!

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